I’m Declaring Bankruptcy

I wasn’t going to tell anyone, but I figured it would get out sooner or later. I am bankrupt! Yup. On empty I am. The fuel in the tank is gone, not a nickel’s worth of anything do I own, and to be honest, I’m not sure it’s ever been much different.

Try as I might to earn my keep, in my own strength I can’t. Try as I might to make amends, I fall short. Try as I might with all my might to do what I must do right—I get it wrong. I’m weak when I want to be strong. I’m sensitive when it doesn’t make much sense, and exposed I am to the truth of the matter.

And what exactly is that, you ask? What is the truth of the matter?

Fact is, the facts are in. Truth is, I cannot do this alone. Even though I have never been able to, I’ve not always admitted that I can’t. It feels good to no longer have to bear this burden alone. It feels lighter as I divulge the truth in that He is the one who has always and will always carry.

A mere vessel I am. Hollowed out to be poured out was the plan all along—along this journey in life. The verse that’s been clinging makes sense as I allow it to take root. It’s from Galatians 2:20. “No longer I who live but Christ who lives in me” As it pours forth anew, what the Almighty can do and is doing, tis a remarkable grace that gives sway in the midst of the swag in life.

And we pick up the poor. And we give up so others may have. And we live out that which He has poured in. And we serve as He translates Himself from us to others. It’s not in the knowing about Him, but in the living out of His life in us—not my life self-contained. Self-containment may contaminate if I remain the one it is all about. It is not, you see, about me, for I have declared bankruptcy. On all accounts my accounts are emptied out.

St. Francis of Assisi, well known to many in all faith walks, explains. “Careful reading of the Gospel has us going from gospel to life and life to the gospel.” In other words, it’s a continuous outpouring of the Words of the Gospel into us—as then.   and only then can the Gospel pour out upon that which we are called to live out.

And bankrupt I am lest I press in. It all adds up this deposit of faith, this body of saving Truth entrusted by Jesus Christ to His church. As Paul writes to Timothy, so I rewrite to you. “Guard what has been entrusted to you. Avoid the godless chatter and contradictions of what is falsely called knowledge” (1 Tim. 6:20).

As if once wasn’t enough, we hear again in 2 Tim. 1:14: “Guard the truth that has been entrusted to you by the Holy Spirit who dwells within.” Feels pretty good to declare bankruptcy knowing full well that He is the one who makes any and all deposits within.  Amen