Support within Reach

Unmasking Victim Blaming: Moving From Judgement to Radical Support

In most crimes, the perpetrator takes the blame for their actions. In instances of sexual assault, the tables turn and the victim becomes the one being questioned. “What were you wearing?” “Were you drunk?” “Why didn’t you go to the police?” Are all questions asked of victims of sexual assault. Victims are blamed without considering larger external and societal factors.

There’s a phenomenon known as the “Just-World Hypothesis”. This says that people believe that if they do good things, then bad things won’t happen to them. This leads people to start victim-blaming and attributing the assault to flaws the victim must have. They start saying things like “Well if they were doing THAT what did they expect would happen?” People start believing there must be something about that person that qualifies them for violence.

Media perpetuates a belief in a “perfect victim”. In tv shows and movies, victims are often shown as visibly distraught with obvious injuries. They are shown as having said no and fighting back. Many times, this is not the reality when it comes to sexual assault.

When a person is faced with trauma, an innate biological survival mechanism kicks in. This is often known as fight, flight, or freeze. There is also the fawning response. Fawning is when a victim may become polite or even helpful to their attacker. This does not mean they consented. Their brain and body did what they needed to do to protect themselves.

Societal factors such as race, ethnicity, gender, and sexuality play a part in how a person’s victimhood is perceived. Black and Indigenous women are often hypersexualized and overlooked by the media. Men are often seen as “always ready” and aren’t seen as true men if they are sexually assaulted. LGBTQ folx are seen as choosing to engage in risky lifestyles. It’s important to remember that a person’s identity is never a justification for violence. Stereotypes must be broken down to make way for personhood.

People often attribute sexual assault to the victims’ personal choices. In reality, the sole blame of sexual assault should be placed on the perpetrator alone. It doesn’t matter what a person is wearing. It doesn’t matter if they were drinking or using drugs. Their sexual history doesn’t matter. No matter what a victim was doing when the assault occurred, they still deserve to be treated with care and respect.

Blaming victims for what happened to them leads to secondary victimization. When a victim is blamed by the police, their community, even their own family, this creates even more trauma and barriers to reporting and healing. When survivors see this happening to others, they stop reaching out for help. If no one will believe them, what’s the point?

To end victim blaming, we need to start checking our own biases. This can be a long and difficult process, but it is vital in caring for victims. Some things a person can do to combat their own biases are:

• Ask themselves, “If this person looked and acted like me, would I still react to this the same way?”
• Identify where you receive information. Are you following a diversity of creators on social media? Where do you get your news from?
• Learn more about trauma responses. Gain a better understanding of the array of reactions a person may have to violence.
• Find books and websites to learn more about identities you don’t know much about.
• Research consent, both legal and ethical. Consent laws should be followed AND consent should be given freely and enthusiastically.

It is important to understand that ending victim blaming depends on YOU. Unpacking biases is not a one-time thing, but a life-long process. It takes continual internal effort to deconstruct what society has taught us. Radical support must take the place of judgement. We must move beyond asking “What were you wearing?” to “What can I do to help?”

If you or someone you know has experienced Sexual Violence, advocates are here and ready to help you. Reach out to Support Within Reach at our 24/7 crisis hotlines: 1-800-708-2727 (Beltrami, Clearwater, Hubbard, Cass) or 1-866-747-5008 (Itasca and Aitkin). Please like, follow, and share our social media platforms, and visit our website at supportwithinreach.org.